An Englishman says to his friend, a Scotsman, that he has a perfect way of eating free in restaurants.

"I go in at well past 9 oclock in the evening, eat several courses slowly, linger over coffee, port and a cigar.

Come 2 a.m., as they are clearing everything away, I just keep sitting there until eventually a waiter comes up and asks me to pay.

Then I say: 'I've already paid your colleague who has left.'"

The Scotsman is impressed, and says: "Let's try it together this evening."

So the Scotsman books them into a restaurant and come 2 oclock they are both still quietly sitting there after a very full meal.

Sure enough, a waiter comes over and asks them to pay.

The Englishman says: "I've already paid your colleague who has left."

And the Scotsman adds: "And we're still waiting for the $20 change!"